Our Number One Advice
Let’s start at the very beginning.
What to do when dreams seem far away? How to live your dreams when you feel too afraid, too broke, too busy, too inexperienced to start? And how to face roadblocks on your journey? There is a way.
“Start! Whatever it is you endeavor to do, take that first step, and then another.” That’s the advice we received time and time again from others who were doing things we had only dreamed of. At first, it seemed trite. An easy answer. A pat on the head “now run along and don’t bother” me sort of answer. But so many urged us to start as if our very lives depended on it and the clear, painful difference between us and them was not only that they had started the very first step of their dream, but three, five, seven years later, they were still at it — many of them arguably professional-grade at what, at first, seemed like the first gleefully stumbling steps of a toddler.
And so, exchanging a glance at each other, we began dribbling in bits of info we had researched into dinner conversations. We swapped the shows that we had been bored with anyways, or that had been entertaining but had left us unfulfilled, with videos of How-To’s and vlogs of people living our very dreams. Soon , that research turned into practical steps: a redirecting of coffee money to a dream fund, a booking of a class, a planning of a one trip, and then another, and then a third, a purchase of a classic RV and a small boat we call Sparrow.
“If someone limits themselves to “all or nothing” and “all” is too big for the immediate time being, what they end up with is, well . . . nothing. And you deserve much more than that. ”
It’s surprising how quickly the momentum can build once you take the first step, and then others follow behind — at first slowly, perhaps even with awkwardness, but soon rythmically moving forward. But to start, you must have a good reason, your reason. If it’s the popular thing on some online bucket list, that won’t sustain your momentum. But if it’s something you always yearned to explore but thought you couldn’t? And you feel it’s something you’d regret not having done at the end of your years? Now, that’s your reason to begin. . . with research. Work backwards from there. What are the big things I need in place to do it? What do I need to change to accomplish those?
Money or time too tight for now? What’s a creative solution you haven’t thought about before? Maybe that month-long cooking course adjusts to a weekend cooking class with a dear friend. If someone limits themselves to “all or nothing” and “all” is too big for the immediate time being, what they end up with is, well . . . nothing. And you deserve much more than that.
But give yourself more than research and planning. We’ve discovered, “there’s joy in the journey” isn’t just an old adage. While we were scrimping and saving for a sailing class, it warmed the winter months to get inspired by following vloggers who were doing what we dreamed to do. We couldn’t afford a boat that was top-of-the-line, but seeing the look of accomplishment on Wes’s face after he brought an old one back to life over a summer was worth far more than that.
So that’s it? A guarantee that you will succeed at everything you put your mind to because you simply started?. . . Not exactly, not always.
You see, we were gearing up for a big adventure to the Pacific Coast where Wes would work 100 feet up a mast on a tall ship and I would take as many $25 forging classes I could fit into the sunny San Diego afternoons. We had terminated our lease at a beloved cabin and moved our belongings into our 1982 Wanderlodge, geeked at our newly adopted lifestyle. It was then that we received the news. A very near and dear family member — a mentor and a best friend — received a terminal diagnosis. Suddenly, everything else, including our dreams, felt trivial by comparison. RV work was traded for final days with family. Death came quickly and our trip was marked, pointedly, with grief.
“Best of all, we’ve felt the sense of accomplishment and shared memories that each step added up to . . . All because we started.”
Wes aloft the Star of India ship in San Diego. Photographer, Kimberly Demarest 2020.
While the California sunshine and beauty probably did more for our slow healing than the harsh northeast winter might have, what we continue to value high above all else was meaningful time with our dear family member that summer beforehand. Earlier that summer, we had parked next door to our family with initial plans to prep the RV there, not yet knowing how precious the byproduct of time spent with dear ones would be.
Several years have passed since and as our loved one so often urged us to do, we continue to follow our dreams, one step at a time. And, every time we do, we carry our family with us and can’t wait until we’re home again to spend time together. We’ve felt the rise in our bellies as we’ve taken to the air in a biplane and peered through dusty windows of antique trains. We’ve sailed through the bustle of a Virgin Islands regatta and caught the last drop of sunset over the painted desert. We’ve felt the chill of winter on beautiful boardwalks of Maine and the sunny breeze of San Diego aloft the worlds’ oldest active sailing ship, the Star of India. Best of all, we’ve felt the sense of accomplishment and shared memories that each step added up to . . . All because we started.
